I found this picture online; jumping from 2013 to 2014...2013 was a good year, it went fast…we had many ups and downs; personally these last few years have definitely been rewarding but trying in many ways; I wish I could share my heart but I do not have the time or I guess space. I guess to sum it up, I love my family, I am learning to love who I am, I struggle with many things, but like others try my best to be the person God intended me to be; 2014 will bring many changes to our family, I am terrified and content at the same time; is that even possible...maybe at the same time is not the right word; some days are better than others, but that is how life is; you learn as you go...and I sure have a lot of learning left. My kids are my saviors and I cannot imagine life without them; my husband has been very supportive of me and I am grateful...I recently heard someone quote Elder Joseph B Wirthlin when he said "Come What May and Love It"; this hit me really hard...this is not something I am good at.
The first part of the title of his talk says “Come what May”, anyone close to me knows that I do not handle things great, when it just comes; I sorta freak out. I am getting better but it’s something that I struggle with; having kids has helped me in many ways, but then the other part says “And Love It”; another thing I tussle with; LOVE…what is love? Love is another entity in itself, but one I have been really pondering lately as well? What does “I love you” even mean; there are so many different ways to show love…”what is love" was the most searched phrase on Google in 2012” not sure about 2013 but I bet it was still pretty high on the list. I show love very differently from other people, I guess everyone shows love differently. I am not an overly affectionate person, I don’t think I will ever be…but I do enjoy helping others and I think that is where my love lies; I need to be better at finding a balance in my life with my family and love; I think this year I want to work on that.
I decided to read the whole talk that Elder Wirthlin spoke. He gave this talk in the October 2008 General Conference; he passed away December 1, less than two months after giving this talk. At his ripe old age this was something that was important to him and I think something that can help me in many ways. He starts off by telling about a sporting event that he participated in when he was young and one day his team lost a game and he came home discouraged; he talks about how his mother was there to listen to his sad story but she also taught them that when they fall down they need to get up and get going again; the advice his mother game him that day was “Come what may, and love it”
He said “I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.”- When I think of someone that is always happy I think of my mother; throughout the years I have changed my perception of her happiness though; I use to think that she never got sad or was unhappy, but I have come to know that she does have sorrow and times or adversity but she has been able to learn how portray happiness through her trials. I on the other hand have a hard time showing happiness in the midst of uncertainty and I always thought there was something wrong with me, I do still feel like that at times, but reading this talk helped me see a different perspective.
He said “How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.-deep down that happiness is something that I do want.
He shared 4 ways that have helped him through testing and trail
1) Learn to Laugh
2) Seek for the Eternal
3) The Principle of Compensation
4) Trust in the Father and the Son
Learning to laugh; or maybe for me it should be relearning to laugh. I remember times when I would laugh a lot, it has not been the case for a while…but maybe if I could take this advice, I could change.
“The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.”-this seems like a goal I could work on
Seek for the Eternal; “You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me…but the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt-I know that I have a life of a queen compared to some around me but there are times when I cannot see the light, I feel God made me such a weakling; I hope that I can see things with a new light, and seek for the eternal in my life. This life is a time to prepare to meet God, it’s a time of great learning and of course a time of disappointment, suffering and sorrow; God did make each of us unique, my abilities are different than others, I think this year I want to find out the good qualities that make me different and use those qualities in a good way instead of seeing my bad qualities in a bad way like I have done before.
The Principle of Compensation; “The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.”-it’s interesting that he uses tears in this example. I cry a lot, sometimes, I am sad and sometimes I don’t even know why I am crying, the tears just come and I can’t stop. I use to think that crying was a sign of weakness, I sometimes still feel that way; but I have had some help in realizing that it just might be the way that I release my emotions; I am a habitual stuffer and I am not very good at showing emotion or talking about how I am feeling; sometimes I don’t even know what I feel; I never learned how to express my feelings outwardly; it’s always been inside, an inward battle. I have had many different ways in my life for releasing emotions, some not always great and some that were detrimental to myself…it has taken many years to come to the point where I am now, and it will still take more time to find out and juggle and learn from my emotions. I am grateful for the things I have learned and will continue to learn.
Trust in the Father and the Son-that is pretty self-explanatory…I have always had trust issues and this year want to work on that. “I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.”
“The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life"- I need to be better at this…I need to be better at many things but I also need to realize sometimes that life is not always about looking into the future and looking back in the past; yes those are important; but what also is important to live in the present; that is my goal for the next little while is to be present; maybe my life will become a little brighter, not saying that my life is not bright but I would love to have a better attitude about life in general and maybe have a little more optimism.
He closed with “As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.”
Here is to a great 2014!!!-I hope to come back to this in a year and see where I am!!!